The Trick to Buying Clothes that Actually Fit

Recently I made an online order for some clothing that I wanted to fit properly and be extra flattering. It’s Valentine’s season, you get the idea. But because of the nature of the outfits they were non-refundable. That being said, it was crunch time on sizing

I’ve always been good at sizing clothing online because I despise trying on clothes in store. Why? Not because of low confidence or lack of sizes, but because every store I go in has a different size guide. In one store I’ll be a size Large, and the next store over I’ll be a size 2XL. And if I’m especially unlucky, I’ll have those sort of size discrepancies in the same store.

That brings me to this most recent online purchase: I ordered half a dozen items, all from the same company, and they ranged in sizes from the “smallest” being a Medium and the “largest” being a 4XL. Are you kidding me?!

Now, there’s nothing wrong with being a size Medium or a size 4XL, but it would be nice to know definitively which one I am!  

You see, there’s no standard for sizing. There’s no golden rule saying this measurement = this size. Lettered sizing is completely arbitrary and if anyone tells you otherwise, they’re wrong. No store knows what they’re doing with sizing! They pick a specific set of measurements to be considered “medium,” maybe they use the median numbers of some sample pool of women (but I doubt it), and then they adjust all the measurements down and up to make the sizes around this so-called “medium.” 

That’s where my favorite trick comes in:

Know your measurements. 

Every piece that I ordered from this recent shipment fits me perfectly! Yes the Medium fits great, and yes the 4XL fits great! You know why? Because on each item they have a size guide that tells you the inches or centimeters for bust, waist, and hips that each piece is made to fit. 

That is the trick!

Almost every website that sells clothing will have a “size guide” with inches. Don’t just look at the numbered size guide! The “Large = US 12-14” crap is better but still unpredictable. Look for the inches or centimeters, then compare them with your measurements. Ta-da! The perfect fit!

A quick note on measurements:

It won’t benefit your body or your mind to fudge your numbers. We just talked about how arbitrary sizing is, so don’t “try to fit” into a Medium if a company’s size guide is telling you that you should buy a different size for your body! No one will see that tag except you. No one will know your measurements except you. And at that, no one cares except you!

But if you buy clothes that aren’t made for your specifications, you know what you will see in the mirror? You won’t see “Medium,” you’ll see clothes that are too loose or too tight on your body. You’ll see discomfort and disappointment where you could be focusing on wearing things that you want to wear. 

There are plenty of other conversations here about companies having poor size ranges and different body types looking certain ways in different styles of clothing, but my point here is to not let clothing size numbers bother you.

If you clicked on this blog then I know you’ve heard people say…

“sizes don’t matter”

but I’m here to tell you it’s not just that they don’t matter it’s that…

Sizes literally mean nothing.

In today’s society, clothing sizes are no more than a tag number that help stores distinguish which pieces to put on which rack. Don’t concern yourself with a store’s arbitrary organizational practices; buy whichever clothes fit your body. You’ll be happier and more confident with the end result. 

And if their number still bothers you? Cut off the tag! In a year’s time you won’t remember what size that cute dress was, and neither will the company you bought it from. 

How (Not) To Do the Thing

I learned something about myself recently. I’ve noticed that I spend the majority of my time searching for someone or something to tell me what to do. I listen to podcasts about writing and productivity and relationships and fitness. I read self-help books about everything else. I watch vloggers on YouTube and compare my schedule and work ethic to theirs even though I know nothing about their lives except what they’ve curated for me.

In other words, I seem to think that I’m clueless.

But here’s the thing: I already know the things that all of these sources are going to tell me. Now, I may not be clueless but I’m also not narcissistic; I know that these are all valuable resources with so much more knowledge than I have, but my point is I know more than enough, to the extent that now I’m trying to make an entire blog website around regurgitating it all back to the very place that it came from initially.

That sounds negative.

I don’t mean that I shouldn’t be sharing advice or that I shouldn’t continue to learn new things. On the contrary, I want to blog and listen to my informational podcasts. But this weekend, as I was scouring YouTube for random fitness routines because I was caught up on my subscribers list, I realized that it’s not knowledge that I’m seeking anymore, it’s distraction.

I’m looking for an excuse.

This whole post sounds like I’m gearing up for a pitch about “How-To Stop Procrastinating” or “How-To Do the Damn Thing” but it’s not, I’m sorry to disappoint. (I might title this post exactly that, so I’m doubly sorry if I click-baited you.) I have no idea why I’m looking for excuses or how to stop. Am I afraid of failure? Am I afraid of success? Am I just lazy? Or bored? Do I have such low self-confidence that I think I truly don’t know anything? Do I have a legitimate psychological issue?

I don’t know for sure, but I’m starting to suspect the fear option. I suspect that I’m trying to distract myself with the idea that I need more knowledge because of my paralyzing fear that if I start without all the information I won’t be good enough or smart enough to succeed.

Oof.

I don’t know how to remedy this fear, but I’m going to try. And lucky for no one, along with being an avid advice-taker I also happen to be a serial advice-giver. It’s a real problem. So I don’t know exactly where to start with this, but I’m going to document it on the blog. It isn’t like me to struggle with jumping in feet first. I mean, this whole site was started on a whim and essentially serves as a record of all the projects that I start on my many whims. But for some reason I’m stuck. This won’t be well-put-together, “How-To” style, advice blogs, it’s going to be my messy recounting of what I’m doing to become a better adult. I’m going to attempt to write through my struggles. Yikes.

So that was my existential crisis for the week; how are you? Is anyone else as lost as I am?

Oh! And I’m also a hypochondriac, apparently. I started watching Grey’s Anatomy for the first time ever this weekend and now I have a plethora of tumors, at least two brain abnormalities that went undiagnosed when I was a child, a heart condition that I have no reason to suspect I have, and my husband (who I’ve been with since we were both 17) has a secret, beautiful, successful, doctor wife who will definitely show up soon. It’s been great. I’m great.

My other distraction.
When a 6lb dog wants to sleep in your arms, you let the 6lb dog sleep in your arms.

Krav Maga?

You all will never believe what I did on Tuesday night.

Or maybe you will believe it because you don’t fully know who I am yet. So before I start, let me paint you a picture.

I am not athletic. And when I say I am not athletic I don’t mean

“Oh, I played softball in middle school but that’s it.” or “Yeah I loved gym class as a kid, but I’m not an athlete or anything.”

No, people. I am not athletic whatsoever.

You know how everyone’s favorite class in elementary school is gym class? Because you get to play? Nope, hated it.

You know how every 8 year old’s favorite time of day is recess? I skipped it to take an extra violin lesson or go to the art room!

My elementary school had a “track & field” day every year which was basically a full day of recess spent outside playing games and sports. Well, I would “accidentally” wear a skirt every year so they would “make me” sit out. I distinctly remember my gym teacher making me do the mile walk/run anyway but at one point he lost track of how many laps I had actually done so I lied and told him I had one lap to go. I had much more than one lap to go.

In high school I was required to have a Health & Fitness credit to graduate, but I was in the top ten of my class of almost 400 students and I wanted to boost my GPA and not waste time in gym class. So I took the credit hours online over the summer between my sophomore and junior years.

Y’all. I took my high school gym class online.

I’ve never played a sport, not even for recreation. I’ve never been on any kind of team. I’ve never even taken a group fitness class besides one Zumba class when I was 14 and I got there late!

Are you starting to understand?

I am not athletic.

Well on Tuesday night, I took a level one Krav Maga class.

Excuse me, what now?

And this was not an “introductory” class, this was the level one class that had been going on already that I hopped into. I had never punched anything, not even a pillow during an emotional break-up or something. One of the upper level students had to teach me how to make a fist. And I have certainly never been punched or kicked at, that was the weirdest part for me. It was a solid hour of learning and practicing self defense and martial arts drills with strangers.

Overall, I’d say it was terrifying and incredible.

At the halfway break in the class I looked down at my hands and my knuckles were split and bleeding, I had bruises already starting to form, and I was visibly shaking. I teared up and nearly quit. Not because I was in pain or scared of sparring, but because I was surprised at how soft I truly am. I knew I was weak, but I never realized how ill-prepared I was to protect myself from another human being.

But I continued.

If I had to pick one word to describe myself it would be “independent.” I hate feeling like I am at the mercy of my husband’s availability to escort me when I want to walk my dog on a semi-secluded trail, or hang out in a crowded bar, or go to Walmart when it’s dark outside. I hate being dependent on another person to defend me if the need were to arise. That’s what prompted me to look for a self-defense class in the first place!

So I finished out the entire class (except the choking drills, my partner and I modified those; I don’t like people I’m familiar with touching me, let alone a complete stranger choking me) and watched most of the level two class while we talked to one of the instructors. Needless to say we are going back… twice a week.

My husband immediately signed up, but I was a little apprehensive. I think at one point I told both him and the instructor: “I don’t know if I’m cut out to do this.” Then later when I voiced the same concern to the other instructor, she looked at me and said,

“Of course you can do it, you already did it.”

That resonated with me somewhere deep down. I did do it. Little goody-two-shoes, never-even-seen-a-fight, non-athletic, hide-in-a-corner-and-read, anti-social, recess-skipping, weakling Emily did an entire Krav Maga class.

And maybe I’ll still be a weakling in a month, or in 3 months, or in 3 years, but at least now I’m a weakling training to become a bad-ass.

I suppose this is the beginning of a new adventure.

A Full Day of Healthy Eating

It’s 2020! To celebrate the new decade, I’ve been doing what any amateur adult would do and I’ve been eating all the bad food. And by bad food I obviously mean the most delicious food that is the worst for your body. I’m talking pizza. I’m talking taquitos. I’m talking all the chicken nuggets. Add all the soda pop and alcohol I’ve been consuming to replace all the water I haven’t been consuming and it’s safe to say I need to replenish some nutrients here.

So…

…this is my full day of eating when I’m being extra good to myself while also eating in a deficit.

(Actually it’s a combination of what I ate Monday and what I ate yesterday, but don’t tell the food police. I eat basically the same thing every day so it’s fine.)

 


Breakfast

My easiest meal. Mostly because it’s the same thing every day of my life.

 

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Jimmy Dean Delights: Turkey Sausage, Egg White, & Cheese English Muffin with Coffee (elixir of life) and my First Liter of Water

They’re easy, they’re healthy, and they’re delicious. I eat the same thing for breakfast every day. Listen, breakfast was always hard for me because as much as I try to make myself be a morning person, I am not a morning person. So I found something that works for me and that’s what I’ve stuck to for the past couple years. And of course I add Tapatios hot sauce. Only Tapatios.

 


Lunch

Lunch is the hardest meal of the day, in my opinion. I work at my husband’s business and if you know anything about owning a business you understand me when I say sometimes we don’t get to take lunch. If the phones are ringing off the hook or we’re short-staffed in the warehouse, we all jump in and help keep everything running smoothly at the expense of our “break-time.”

So here are my typical lunch options for busy days vs normal days:

 

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Busy Days (Monday): Subway Steak & Cheese Salad with their Chipotle Southwest Sauce and Sweet Onion Sauce for dressing

According to my metabolic type and personal research, my body functions best on higher protein, lower carb foods. (I am not one of those people who can have a cup of white rice for every meal and lose weight. I will bloat until I look like Violet Beauregarde.) So when I can, I opt for no bread. Our subway also has a drive-thru so on busy days I swing by there and eat at my desk. This is what I had on Monday.

 

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Normal Days (Thursday): Bird’s Eye Veggie Made Rotini Alfredo with Broccoli

This is still a very easy meal… but hey, I do have to stick this one in the microwave. Honestly, I don’t have time to cook at lunch and I even if I did, I don’t want to. This pasta is great and I usually throw in some leftover veggies from the night before; today was broccoli.

 


Dinner

As a rule of thumb for my dinners I try to make them:

  • Little to no carbs
  • A good source of protein
  • A full serving of vegetables
  • As little processed ingredients as possible

I already showed you my turkey scramble recipe, but I also love to make fish:

 

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Marinated Salmon with Steamed Broccoli

That sounds very fancy, but it is not at all. I get individually frozen salmon filets and a 30 minute marinade. When I get home from work, I thaw my salmon in cold water, then stick it in the fridge with my marinade for half an hour, then saute it in a skillet. Literally that easy. Oh, and I get steam-in-the-bag frozen broccoli so that gets popped in the microwave while I cook the salmon. Ta-da! A well balanced dinner.


And that’s basically it. A couple things to note:

  1. I try not to snack on a daily basis because I can’t control myself around a good snack. I mean honestly, who can though?
  2. I don’t count calories or macros anymore simply because I know the nutrient breakdown of the foods I eat regularly because I have counted calories and macros for so long. It’s redundant and doesn’t give me anything by writing it down anymore. I highly recommend it, though, if you don’t already have a good idea of what you’re consuming calorie and nutrient wise.
  3. I drink 3 liters of water every day throughout my day, and a cup of decaf green tea before bed

 


Voila! A full day of eating. I’m slowly but surely putting together a blog about how I figured out how to eat healthy and how I make my “meal plans” so if all of this sounds like something you could get on board with but don’t know where to start, keep an eye out for that blog. It took me about six years to figure out how to eat healthy on my own so if you’re struggling, I feel you. The best advice I have is that the slower you start off the easier it will be to maintain changes. Give it time.

But okay, that all sounds very bloggy. I’m going to go now.

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Did anyone else celebrate going into the ’20s by partying like Gatsby? First I took a drink, then my drink took a drink, then the drink took me. 

The January First Song & Dance

Holy moley.

Life really knows how to kick you when you’re down, doesn’t it? I think this has been the most difficult, most confusing, most painful month of my entire life. But you know what?

December is almost over, thank God.

I’ve never wanted to be one of those people that was like “Start the new year fresh!” I don’t know why though, because deep down I’ve always been this person.

  1. I love fresh starts.
  2. I love round numbers.
  3. I try to go into every day with a clean slate, every week with a new focus, and every month with a new goal.

So why do I hate on the “new year – new me” trend every year? Am I so hipster that I hate it just because it’s popular? Possibly.

I think it also makes me sad, and I don’t like being sad. People are so motivated for JANUARY FIRST and ready to start on JANUARY FIRST and excited for JANUARY FIRST and then the other 364 days of the new year are neglected. If we truly want to have a “new year – new me” mindset, then we should all be restarting our 365 day year every single morning.

If we all treated every day like it was JANUARY FIRST I guarantee we would see:

    • More kindness and generosity
    • Gyms packed with motivated people reaching their goals
    • Coffee shops filled with avid readers
    • People cooking themselves and their families healthier meals
    • More bad habits kicked
    • Less money unwisely spent
    • Overall more happiness all around

…and all the other popular new year’s resolutions that people keep for JANUARY FIRST and then forget about because it too quickly becomes January second.

So, I know I have winter goals that I’m chipping away at (badly, might I add; I told you it’s been a horrible month), but I do have one New Year’s goal:

I do not want to make any New Year’s goals.

I want to have goals for every season, every month, every week, and every day, and I don’t want them to be limited by waiting for the big sparkly ball to drop at midnight. I think the world would be a better place if every day were New Year’s day.

If anyone reading this has had as shitty of a month as I have, I’m so sorry. Whatever you’re going through: I’m sorry and that sucks. Try to remember that every storm runs out of rain. (Isn’t that a country song? I think that’s a country song.)

And that’s my two cents. See you next year!

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I gave myself bangs, guys. That’s how emotionally unstable December 2019 has made me. And yes, I do regret them. Thank you for asking. *sigh*